Thu. Aug 6th, 2020

Quotes and Jokes

Afrikaanse grappe and English jokes

General Pick Up Lines

7 min read

You know what would make your face look better? (What?) My legs wrapped around it.

“I hear you’re good at algebra…..Will you replace my eX without asking Y?”

Do you sleep on your stomach? Him: NO… You: Can I?

Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.

Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.

Hi, did your license get suspended for driving all these girls crazy?

Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

Boy is your name homework because I’m not doing you and I should be.

My beaver is bored and wants to play, do you have any wood for my beaver today

I’d like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

Are you David Beckham? Because I’d bend for you.

“Hi, i’m wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn’t have to be.”

“Hi, i’m writing a phone book, can I have your number?”

What’s a nice guy like you doing with a body like that?

You touch his shirt and ask, “Is this cotton?” Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, “Oh, this must be felt.”

Hey baby…I can suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?

They’re called “eyebrows” cus my eyes are browsin your fine ass

Aren’t you the guy who gets fan mail from Ron Jeremy?

“I’d like to point out that “beautiful” has U in it. But, ‘quickie’ has U & I together.”

Didn’t you used to be known as John Holmes?

Would you like a gin and platonic or a Scotch and sofa?

“I’m trying to quit smoking, wanna give me a new oral fixation?”

I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause’ you got fine written all over you.

Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.

I do not fancy wines, I prefer moans

You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.

Are you a smoke detector? Cause you’re really loud and annoying.

Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice.

Hi! I’m Craven Morehead are you?

You know what would go good on ur hot dog? Mayo

Do you eat tacos? (yes, why?) Because my Taco Bell is open

Put a dollar bill on your head and when he asks what you did that for tell him its all you can eat for under a dollar

Are you a burger cuz you can be the meat between my buns

I’m wearing Revlon Colorstay Lipstick, want to help me test the claim that it won’t kiss off?.

I know you think im sexy, I know you think im fine, but just like all the other guys get a number and wait in line

I will be a Dixie Chick and you be my cowboy… now take me away!

I could hear your cock talking and it just told me to blow you…. a kiss!

Hey, you look like a big strong guy. You think you could handle my pussy or is it too much for you?

Hey baby…I can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?

I may not be Dairy Queen, baby, but I’ll treat you right!

Could you please step away from the bar ? You’re melting all the ice

Are you a dictionary? (Why?) Because you just gave me the definition of Gorgeous.

You’re so hot ; a firefighter couldn’t put you out .

Is your name country crock, cause you can spread me anytime.

Are my undies showing? [“No.”] “Would you like them to?”

Have you been to my yard? I make the best milkshakes

You want to melt in my mouth or in my hand?

You remind me of a Twinkie. Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth.

You know what they say about men with big feet. Want to prove that to me?

“Hey sweetheart, can I oil your piston?”

Nice package let me help unwrap that!

You’re so sweet, you’re going to put Hershey’s out of business!

Would you like Gin and Platonic, or Scotch and Sofa?

When God said, “Let there be woman,” he created you.

Don’t you know me from somewhere?

Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are HOT!

I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see around here.

Can I even get a fake number?

You sure have a great looking tooth.

Are you religious? You’re the answer to my prayers.

Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I’m asking for only one.

My friend wants to know if you were born in those jeans.

Your place or your place? Because my place is a dump!

You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.

Falling for you would be a very short trip.

Don’t stop! I don’t usually get to see beauty in motion.

Do you know why the sky is so gray? All the blue is in your eyes.

You’re so fine, you make me want to go out and get a job.

Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

Those must be space pants, ’cause your butt is out of this world!

I think I’ve just found the angel I’d like to be touched by.

There’s just one thing your eyes haven’t told me yet… your name.

Do you have a Band Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

You look so sweet you’re giving me a toothache.

Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in the room?

Are you lost? Because heaven’s a long way from here.

You’re too pretty to be real. May I pinch you to see if I’m dreaming?

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off of you.

You would look better with me by your side.

A girl like you is worth the trouble to pursue.

I’m trying really hard not to disappoint you, but I’m fumbling because your beauty is distracting.

Are you off the market? Cause that would just break my heart.Boy you so fine, I wanna make you mine.You look like you just stepped out of a magazine.

Could you please hold this (purse)? Thank you. I knew you’d be a gentleman.

I’m charmed to finally meet Mr. Prince Charming.

I wasn’t expecting to bump into a George Clooney look-alike.

Here I am! What were your other two wishes?

Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next boyfriend.

You can fall off a building, you can fall out of a tree, but baby the best way to fall, is in love with me.

It is not my fault I fell in love. You’re the one who tripped me.

Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I have only met you in my dreams.

Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you’ve stolen my heart.

I saw you staring, thought I’d come up and say hi. Saw something you liked?

What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.

I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.

Do you want to make millions? millions of babies!

The night is young, the moon is bright, and you are here with me tonight.

I wanna bag you like some groceries.

Kiss me if I am wrong, but isn’t your name (take a guess)…Janice????

Your body is a wonderland and i want to be Alice.

You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me.

I have never had a dream come true until the day that I met you.

Like the sheets on your bed I want cover you with love.

Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

Did you fart? Because you just blew me away

You must be in a wrong place – the Miss Universe contest is over there.

Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!

If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!

Are you an interior decorator? When I saw you the room became beautiful.

Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?

Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted.

Life without you would be like a broken pencil…pointless.

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas.

Do you have the time? (she gives you the time) No, the time to write my number down .

Let’s make like a fabric softener and snuggle.

If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.

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