Entertainment night at the Senior Center

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience. The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.  I want you each to keep your

Driving the wrong way on the freeway

An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone.  Honey, she says in a worried voice, be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway. It's worse than that, he replies, there

Where is my newspaper?

This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will become seniors. WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?! The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was. Madam, said the newspaper employee, today is Saturday. The Sunday paper

Worst age

Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway. Sixty is the worst age to be, said the 60-year-old, You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens. Ah, that's nothing, said the 70-year-old. When you're 70, you don't have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit

Getting very forgetful

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get

A senior citizen driving on the highway

There is a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''John, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!'' John says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are
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